


let’s pretend.

by muted



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:42:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muted/pseuds/muted
Summary: mark’s side.





	1. i

“You should be an actor,” Jaemin nodded confidently to himself as he pointed the metal chopsticks towards Donghyuck, who ignored the boy’s daily randomness with an eye roll.

“Hey! I’m being serious!” Jeno glances over to Jaemin, “You’re really good at lying and playing pretend” the boys at the table break out into a snicker, Jaemin included. All except Hyuck.

Those words linger in Hyuck’s head the rest of the day.

➯・・・

“I got a boyfriend” Hyuck states as he slumps his backpack off and drops his textbooks on the table. 

“Eh-?” Jeno’s confused, yet iconic, sound is the first reaction. Renjun nudges him on the shoulder.

“Congrats, Hyuckie!” Jaemin squeals, immediately jumping up from his food and hugging the small boy.

“Who is he?” Jaemin let’s go from the forceful hug, letting the boy breath a bit, “name and everything, now” he states seriously. 

“Yah! Just let him eat and explain” Renjun states as Hyuck gives a smile towards him.

Jaemin goes back to his food as they all wait for Hyuck to start speaking up.

“Mark Lee.” Hyuck grins just from saying the two words that shocks the whole table.

“Nuh uh-“ Jeno and Jaemin say at the same time as Renjun simply looks at the boy in disbelief. 

“He’s a player!” Jeno’s voice shouts with concern, “he’s not good for anyone in this school. Please, Hyuc-“

Hyuck pouts at the other and starts, “listen, guys, he said after his last boy he really felt lonely and wants someone to call his for a long time,” a soft smile spreads across his face, “let me try this just once? Please? If it gets bad..” His voice cracks a bit as he softens his tone to a hushed whisper.

The trio give each other looks and finally, “we trust you" Renjun says with a smile.

“-And we love you, too!” Jaemin throws his hands up with his broad smile as they all nod and laugh.

➯・・・

— day one  
“Let me walk you to class?” Mark whispers from behind the younger, shocking him.

“Wha- oh!” A small part in the younger boy’s lips showcases as he turns his body to face the other, “sure”

And with a shy smile, they walk in comfortable silence together. 

— day five  
“Guys...” Hyuck softy starts as the others look up to meet his gaze and their smiles fade into poker faces. 

“Hi” Mark smiles as he scans the faces of the others.

— day seven  
“You’ve held hands, hugged, and kissed in front of us and its only been...” Jaemin pretends to look at his watch, “a week.”

Hyuck sticks his tongue out to tease the other with a muttered whoops from Mark.

— day twenty  
“You’re fucking glowing...” Jeno states as the younger walks in the cafe.

A bright smile plasters the face of the younger and they all groan in disgust.

They had sex together. 

— day thirty  
“Wow, congrats,” Chenle takes a seat next to Mark. “You’ve officially lasted a month with him.”

Mark smiles down at the table as he fidgets with his phone.

“Yeah..” He softly says.

— day thirty six  
“Where’s lover boy?” Jaemin teases as he tears a small piece apart from the toast he brought for lunch. 

Hyuck sits lightly on the seat, “Ah, he has ‘some project’ to finish,” he pulls his food out, “plus I wanted to eat with you guys.”

“Awe” the three of them coo in unison as Hyuck rolls his eyes with a grin. 

— day forty  
“No lunch?” Renjun comments.

“I guess I’m not that hungry..” Hyuck shoots a small smile towards the other. Renjun raises his eyebrow at him but dismisses the conversation.

The day goes on.

➯・・・

In all honesty, Hyuck finds himself thinking he is either really good at lying or everyone else is really slow to catch on.

He pretends he’s happy with Mark. Why? He fallen in love with the older.  
He’s first love, you could say. Everything with Mark was his first;  
Holding hands, hugging with soft whispers, kissing.  
Mark took his virginity. He wanted to share more moments with him that’d make his heart flutter as is did the day he met him.

Hyuck pretends to smile at at others so they won’t see the pain painted across his face. He pretends to laugh as a joke from Mark told. He pretends his relationship with Mark is perfect as is was the first day. He pretends he’s eaten all his meals. He pretends he’s been kissed and held by the other everyday as is was the first few weeks of their relationship. He pretends Mark is never annoyed by him when he wants to cuddle. He pretends he didn’t see the text from ‘Jaehyun’ saying he loves Mark too. He pretends he didn’t cry the night he saw, who would most likely be, Jaehyun holding Mark’s waist at the water fountain show. 

He pretends he didn’t see anything. 

Because pretending is easy. 

So on this lonely night, he pretends he’s happy. He pretends he’s heart isn’t heavy with loneliness after Mark had cancelled on him for the fifth time this week because of “school stuff.”

He sits up on his bed, wipes his tears, and smiles.

➯・・・

Group chat: ‘ 00 Line! ‘ 

Jaemin-  
Let’s all go out?

Jeno-  
Yeah, sure

Renjun-  
Okay

Hyuck-  
What time?

Jaemin-  
Uh... Renjun? :D

Renjun-  
Seriously?? Okay, well.. is everyone okay with lunch and then the movies?

[Jeno and Jaemin liked the message Renjun has sent]

Hyuck-  
See you all later~

➯・・・

New message_ Markie <3

Hyuck-  
I’m going to go out with my friends today~

Markie <3-  
k

[message read, 11:43 AM]

➯・・・

Hyuck smiles sadly at the conversation he’s just had with Mark. A drop of water appears and trickles down on his phone screen.  
He’s.. crying?

➯・・・

Hyuck ends up being the last of the group to arrive.. which is unusual given the fact that he hates when people are late. 

He trudges through the double doors silently, dabbing under his eyes one last time to make sure his makeup is okay. 

The groups looks at him as if he’s risen from the dead. 

“Hyuck-ah..” Renjun starts to get up and walk to the boy, “is everything okay?”

Hyuck plasters the same mask of the fake smile as he looks up from the ground to meet the other’s eyes, “Yeah, why?”

“Did you lose weight?” Jeno questions as he too gets up to get a closer look at the other.

“Did I?” Hyuck softly questions with a small laugh because when was the last time he looked at his body completely? When was the last time he ate a proper meal?

“-And you’re late?” Jaemin comments from their table as they all turn to look at him. Hyuck scratches the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I- I’m sorry about that..” he starts, “I couldn’t find my keys for a bit.. Mark must’ve put them somewhere...” Hyuck’s voice slowly fades the second sentence until its a hushed whisper. 

Mark /didn’t/ actually misplace his keys, he hasn’t even been to his place at all this week because of how “busy” he is. Instead, Hyuck tried to calm himself down from all the crying and put on makeup because wow, he looked like shit.

Hyuck slowly makes his way to the table and the others follow, a bit confused from the whole situation but nonetheless follow along. 

➯・・・

Hyuck is able to relax halfway into the meal because he genuinely enjoys the food and doesn’t remember the last time he’s had real fun with people, anyone. The friends also disregard the whole chaos when they first met up.

After dining and chatting, they all chill at the table as Jeno goes to the restroom. 

“So, I have these two friends that want to see the movie were going to see..” Jaemin starts as he whips his phone out, “is it okay if they tag along? If not, that’s okay”

“Yeah, sure” Hyuck chirps. Renjun nods as he takes his last few sips of the ice water.

“Ready to go?” Jeno nods as they all start to make their way out of the restaurant.

➯・・・

“Chenle! Jisung!” Jaemin waves with the biggest smile the group has ever seen. Let’s be real, Jaemin is whipped for the two kids.

“How are my two big babies doing?” Jaemin coos as soon as they meet.

“Yah!” Just because you’re maybe older by a year or two, doesn’t make us babies!” Chenle grumbles with a pout as Jisungs cheeks are being pulled by Jaemin. 

“You’ll always be babies!” He laughs as he whips around to face his other friends.

“Let’s all introduce each other!” Jaemin clasps his hands together.

“Renjun” the boy waves his hand and bows slightly as the two bow a perfect 90 degrees for the latter without hesitation.

“Hi, I’m Jeno!” He shoots his bright eye smile as the two bow again in unison.

“Hey, I’m Donghyuck, or Hyuck” the boy softly calls and as the boys starts to bow, Chenle stops halfway and shoots right up.

“YOU’RE HYUCK??” Chenle exclaims, “Mark has talked about you a bit” he smiles. 

That statement shocks and sends shivers down the boy’s spine.

“Anyways!” Chenle exclaims, “I’m Chenle! This is Jisung-ah” The younger boy waves awkwardly as he plasters a smile on his face to the others. 

After the introductions and small talks, they all head into the theatre, Hyuck’s close to follow the Chenle boy to question what Mark has said about him.. and how recently.. how frequently?

As they head into their designated theatre room, Hyuck catches up to the Chinese boy and taps him on the shoulder.

“Hey,” he breathlessly says. The other whips his head to the side and meets his gaze. 

“Hi!” A real, genuine smile along with a giggle escapes from the boy, “what’s up?” 

“A-h..” Hyuck takes a small step away to keep a comfortable distance as he walks alongside the younger, “I was just wondering what Mark has said about me?” A blush starts to creep on the tips of his ears but the halls are a bit dark so it goes unnoticed.

“Ah!” Chenle jumps a bit and a few popcorn kernels fall to the ground. “He say that you’re kind and he likes your smile. He also said that he cannot believe that he’s met someone that can laugh as his jokes.”

Hyuck lets a relieved smile paint his face at the thought of the older saying such things about him. He misses him.

“Do you know where he is now?” Hyuck asks after a few steps with the other.

“Ah, I think he said he has a homework session with.. Jaehyun?” 

And the boy’s heart stops. It shatters. He stops walking and Chenle stops after another step or two, wondering what’s happened.

“Is everything okay, hyung?” He walks back to him and makes him meet his eyes.

“I-“ Hyucks voice starts to break as it did in the restaurant earlier that day but he coughs a bit. “I.. I’m okay, don’t worry” he gives a small, sad smile that goes unreadable due to the dark lighting. 

“Okay! Hyung, if you’re feeling sick, don’t hesitate to leave!” Chenle turns around to chase after Jisung and the crowd of reckless boys.

Hyuck holds his heart for a moment. It’s beating, so he’s okay.  
Right? It’s beating because he heard about how Mark talks about him.  
Right?

That night, he ends up crying himself to sleep.

➯・・・

The next day, Hyuck ends up sick with a small cold. He doesn’t have any lectures so he is glad of all the days he’s sick today.

All day there’s been messages from Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun.. even Chenle managed to get ahold of him and sent him a photo of him and Jisung making finger hearts towards him. He smiles as the gesture as he replies a quick thanks as a small headache slowly creeps his way.

He shuts off his phone and for the next (not so) few hours, he sleeps. It’s been the most sleep he’s gotten the past few days.

➯・・・

Hyuck-  
I’m getting a headache so I’ll msg later

[unread messages]

Renjun-  
Get rest!! 

Jeno-  
Gn!! Talk to you later!!

Jaemin-  
We’ll come over later ;)

Chenle-  
geT REST1!

Chenle-  
JISUNGIE ALSO SAYS YOU NEEDA REST!!

➯・・・

Hyucks mind wonders if Mark knows he’s sick or even alive. His head still hurts and in this apartment, he’s not gotten medicines so he has to deal with the pain until his friends come over. 

He groans as the doorbell rings it’s iconic little chime that cheers him a bit. He groggily gets out of bed as he makes his way to the door.

“Ye-“ Hyuck starts but is shut off by his loud friends. 

“Hyuckie!! You look horrible!” Jaemin chirps happily as he steps in first. Jeno and finally Renjun follow as they quietly greet the other. 

“Gee, thanks!” Hyuck sarcastically replies with an eye roll that goes unnoticed by the others. 

“Did anyone else stop by?” Jeno asks as he and Jaemin take a seat on his couch and turn on the TV. 

“Ah, no..” Hyuck starts but thinks that’s enough for an answer. Renjun hands the other a glass of water and rubs his back gently, taking a seat with the others. Hyuck mumbles a small thanks as he takes a sip of the water.

“What?” Jaemin pauses and looks at the sick kid. “Not even lover boy?”

“Ah-“ Hyuck nods to himself, “he- uh..” Hyuck’s mind is fuzzy he is sure whether or not to tell them another lie and pretend he’s okay or tell them the truth.

“Wait, I’m feeling a little sick,” Hyuck truthfully states as he places the glass on the table and rushes to the restroom. Renjun is the first to follow quickly behind as the others trail behind.

He threw up.

➯・・・

“He’s awake! He’s awake!” Chenle cheers as the others, Renjun, quickly rush to the other who’s struggling to comprehend what’s going on. 

Why are all these people here? What time is it?  
Is Mark here?

The fragile boy sits up as Jeno and Jaemin carefully bring a tray of hot soup and water towards the bedside table.

“What time is it?” Hyuck asks all the people carefully studying the boy.

“Almost ten PM” Jisung looks at his phone then at the other with a smile.

“What?” His voice cracks and he quickly takes a gulp of water, “everyone, go, don’t be here too long! It’s too late..” he looks for his phone.

No messages from Mark.

“It’s too late...” he mumbles to himself softly as he sighs and throws his phone aside. 

“Jisung, Jaemin, and I were going to go home together after making sure you’re okay,” Chenle mentions to break the small moment of silence, “please get rest and I hope you’re okay tomorrow. He gives a soft smile and waves as he exits the room first.

The others make their way out of the room with small greetings of ‘goodbyes’ and ‘get well’ s that make Hyuck smile. After most of the crowd leaves, its only Jeno and Renjun. 

“Please eat something,” Jeno grabs the bowl and slowly hands it to the other, “you look really thin” Hyuck grabs the bowl and sets it on his lap with a mumbled thanks. 

“Ill stay with you tonight” Renjun concludes as he clasps his hands together softly. 

“No that’s okay, Renjun I-“ Hyuck starts but the other gives him a stern look that shuts him up. 

“Don’t worry! It’s already kind of late anyways and I don’t wanna walk home” Renjun smiles.

“Well, if you got Renjun, you’re all set” Jeno gets up from the chair he brought and exhales slowly, “Please eat before you sleep” and with that, its just Renjun and Hyuck.

Renjun takes Jeno’s seat and patiently waits for the other to drink the soup brought to him. 

“Is everything okay?” Renjun suddenly looks at him. Hyuck calmly puts his spoon down and looks at the other.

“Yeah” he breathlessly says and places the bowl on the table. 

“You can tell me anything,” Renjun pats his shoulder, “I won’t tell anyone unless its okay too”

Hyuck takes a deep breath in and exhales shakily. 

“I think..” Hyuck starts but doesn’t even know where to begin. He’s ready, he’s been ready to tell someone, anyone what’s going on but they never asked; when would be a good time to bring up, ‘hey, so I think my boyfriend is possibly cheating on me?’

Renjun looks at him with concern and encourages the other to continue.

“I think Mark is cheating on.. on me” the boy’s eyes gloss over, “there’s this guy, Jaehyun? Yeah, I saw a text from him to Mark that said ‘I love you’ and I disregarded that because I don’t know and then one day Mark said h-he want-ed to c.. cancel on me and t-then I saw.. I saw him with Jaehyun h-h-holding each other and I don’t know what to do I m-mean I didn’t tell him yet and he keeps on cancelling on me he didn’t even come over today or text me and look! I-its f-fucking 11 PM!” 

He chokes on a sob and finally both hands cover his face with tears and anger. 

Suddenly all the real, raw emotions flow in.

He’s done pretending. Hyuck lets reality take over for this night.

Renjun simply holds him, telling him sweet nothings and rubbing his back in gentle, warm circles until the boy has calmed down.

“I’m sorry..” are the first words that spill from the boy’s mouth as he wipes his fresh tears away.

“Don’t be sorry, we’ll figure this out” renjun nods firmly as he continues to look at the other with concern and love.

Oh, how Mark was so screwed.

➯・・・

Holding onto Mark, being oblivious of the way he had been treated; Hyuck finally knew it was time to stop chasing after someone that just didn’t fee the same after the time they spent together. 

Hyuck isn’t like his friends, if they had been wrongfully treated, they would expose and threaten them. Hyuck on the other hand doesn’t want to face the drama, continue dealing with the pain and hurt that he’s dealt with alone.

He’s tired of feeling this way.

➯・・・

Everyone in Hyuck’s friend group ended up finding out. Chenle, even. He hated every second of it and officially decided to not hang around Mark; especially after seeing how the delicate boy had reacted to the whole situation, to Mark. 

Chenle has never met Mark’s boyfriends until he met Hyuck. Hyuck was like a delicate painting, he just wasn’t being appreciated enough. He’s fragile. As if someone would touch him, he’d break and fall apart right there. Chenle’s heart aches because of how Hyuck is handling everything right now and how much guilt has been stored in his stomach from being friends with a guy like Mark. 

➯・・・

Mark: “Hello?”  
Hyuck: “Mark, can you come over?”  
Mark: “I’m kinda bus-“  
Hyuck: “No, please”

[An annoyed sighed then a short pause from the elder]

Hyuck, with a faint whisper: “Please..”  
Mark: “Ok, ill be there soon”  
Hyuck: “Bye”  
Mark: “Bye”

[call ended, 19:04]

➯・・・

Mark arrives at Hyuck’s door ten minutes after their phone call. The doorbell buzzes it’s comfortable sound.

“Hi” Hyuck smiles as soon as he sees the older boy because, damn, he’s still in love with him after all this shit.

“Hey” Mark grins as he steps past the younger into the apartment. 

“I haven’t seen you in a while..” Hyuck pauses and closes the door, “is everything okay?” 

“Yeah..” Mark fidgets with his fingers and avoids eye contact.

Winter. A cold season. After the all the seasons pass by, you’ll never get used to the extreme temperatures. It hits hard. It’s lonely. It’s sad. It’s empty.

“Mark-hyung,” Hyuck softly calls out with a smile. All he can do is smile. The other looks up to meet his gaze.

“Let’s break up.”

➯・・・

Months later, Hyuck’s heart beats normally as it did the beginning of the year, before him.

He’s forgotten how much his heart has wanted him.

He smiles.

He smiles because he’s free. He smiles because he wont end up like this again. He smiles because he’s happy. He smiles because that’s the most real thing he can do in the moment. 

It’s not fake, its real.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should I add another chapter

It had always been this way for Mark.

He was constantly trapped in a bubble consisting merely of himself.

After continuous attempts at trying to fit in with others, after being rejecting and socially shut out, he had stopped waiting for someone to hold his hand and guide him the right way.

But he didn’t know what he was doing wrong and that one fact was putting him in a discomfort, it was eating him alive. 

And he hated it. So, he tries out for track, he joins as many clubs, he worked out everyday, he was on top of his studies, he worked to be the very best.. all on his own.

And by high school, it all paid off. 

He became more cocky as he received attention for the first time without trying. He became naturally appealing and that kept him greedy.

But no one’s opinion mattered to Mark as much as one person.

During Mark’s junior year, he (after numerous time of rejecting students he’s grown up with) gains the courage to ask someone out. 

Johnny Suh. Johnny was a senior that was purely everything more than perfect. He was tall, lean, kind-hearted.. a blush would paint the tips of Mark’s ears just thinking of the latter.

And so he asked him out. 

Johnny had rejected him. It wasn’t harsh, but Johnny mentioned that he wanted to focus on graduating but he sincerely appreciated the effort from the younger.

That had been more painful than anything to Mark. He couldn’t focus or keep up with anything for a week until he pushed thoughts of his first love out of the way.

After Johnny, he didn’t give a fuck. He was appreciated by others so he’d ‘love’ them and drop them within a week.

But people would keep going back to him. It was a constant cycle that had become a natural routine. 

A year later, Mark graduates with medals around his neck and diplomas around his arms. But the void in his heart kept silent and empty as it’s always been.

College had been the same routine as high school. Screwing around with the next person in line and moving on. 

Two year after his rejection, he had spotted Johnny with Taeyong. That had been the first time in a long time since he’s seen that humble smile and his heart ached once again, in a long time. They looked so happy and in love.

His heart sped up with what he thought was anger but was really loneliness. That night, he cried himself to sleep.

A few weeks had gone by for Mark without one night stands as he finally decided he wanted something serious.

There was another student in his class, younger by about a year.

He was always smiling and presented well unlike others and dressed as if they had just walked out of bed.

They had a science course together. He had never approached or talked first to him or.. anyone in the class unless they were to be lab partners.

➯・・・

“So, for this lab you’re going to need the set of equipment that’s at that counter,” the professor had pointed to his left vaguely, “-and of course, your goggles. You all know the rules, if you break it, let me know.”

The students shuffle in their bags for goggles as the teacher pulls up the partners for the lab.

‘Lee, Mark - Lee, Donghyuck’

Mark freezes after the glance at his name on the board.

“Hi, partner!” Hyuck calls from a few seats away. Mark turns his head with a grin.

“Hey.”

➯・・・

Mark had never clicked so well with anyone. Within the first fifteen minutes their hushed giggles had echoed through the whole room.

As Mark dashes from the opposite side of the lab bench towards Hyuck, he trips over his foot and falls on his butt.

“Mark!” Hyuck rushes over with concern painting his face as he pulls his goggles on his forehead. 

He finally reached his hand out, and someone, for the first time in his life; someone took it. Lee Donghyuck held his hand.

As shocked as he was, he had a tight grip the first few weeks.

That hand; that hand represented the foundation of their relationship.

Slowly, without thought, that hand had been slipping away- is what Mark convinces himself. But that’s not the truth.

The truth? That hand had gripped on his own tighter than anything. Mark had slipped away when he got the chance.

Mark was scared. He’s never been committed to another. He’s never got someone to call his own. 

He’s never been in love. 

The chance was Jaehyun. Jaehyun was a small escape that had Mark more relaxed through all this. 

➯・・・

A mistake. That’s what it was. 

No, it was more than a mistake. A failure. 

Mark lost the one thing he never thought he needed, Donghyuck.

➯・・・

“Mark-hyung,” Hyuck had smiled the way he did when Mark had first asked him to be his.

“Let’s break up.”

Those three words had shattered Mark in the moment, but as strong as he thought he was, he accepted it.

“Okay.” No hint of regret, sadness, or anger. A monotone response as if it meant nothing. 

➯・・・

That smile. The smile that represented beauty, love, and hope— The smile that somehow, also represented hurt, pain, sadness— The smile that forgave.

The smile that represented calmness in a way no one else’s smile could.

And the boy who held that smile- that continued to love the way he thought he never could, is gone. 

That smile will forever be on his mind. 

That night, there were no stars hanging from the sky. A clear, crescent moon, however, was visible as ever. 

That night, there was a young, hopeless boy that had lost someone he never knew he loved.

That night, there was heartbreak. There were tears, there was alcohol, and there was no one with him. 

➯・・・

Guilt. It constantly washes over Mark whenever he is reminded of the boy that represented delicacy.

He was soft, light, pure. He was the sun that shone.

He was happiness. Every moment spent with him was some sort of euphoric dream that he realized he may never get back. 

Yet he holds onto that hope. Months later, just as much Hyuck held onto Mark when he was his.

Ironic, huh?

➯・・・

Week two of Mark and Hyuck’s breakup:

Another breakup* 

Yes, he and Jaehyun had a thing. Friends with benefits, right? That’s what their relationship was. 

And they had more classes together than Mark had with Hyuck so.. it would be logical that they’d have study sessions together, right? 

No, not when after the one or maybe two hours of actual studying Mark would ask if he wanted a bite or if Jaehyun had lied one night that instead of a trip to the library they’d gone to the water fountain show.

No, not when Mark may have canceled on Hyuck multiple times to ‘study’ with Jaehyun.

So, Mark had ended it. Whatever ‘it’ was, it was over.

As most of Mark’s relationships with others; like Chenle and Jisung had dropped him.

The two had never seen someone so strong and beautiful become so broken because of Mark

And he hated that it was him who broke Donghyuck.

➯・・・

Months pass by with no one with Mark at night, he’d finally had enough. 

No more one night stands. No more girls or guys. Mark wanted to be alone.

Or with Donghyuck.

Weeks go by and all Mark can think of is Donghyuck.

And Hyuck is so so close yet so far. 

➯・・・

Summer had gone by so quickly, Mark had not realized school had started.

And another class with Hyuck.

Was this another chance? What.. the fuck? Is all Mark can think of.

Chemistry. This class was only once a week. Mark only gets one hour in one week.

And that’s enough to make him smile again.

➯・・・

It’s two months before Mark actually gets to talk to the other. Thanks to what’s been plastered on the board-

‘Lee, Mark - Lee, Donghyuck’

“Hi, partner” Hyuck says with a faint smile.

“Hey” Mark says breathlessly, because, he really let this guy go?

How’d he let him go? Why are they not together? Why’d Mark let his hand loose enough to slip away from the grip?

“Mark?” The younger taps his shoulder, “are you okay?” Hyuck softly, delicately asks.

“Can-“ Mark hesitates for a moment. He’ll never get over a rejection again- he wont forgive himself if he doesn’t ask, though. A deep breath in, “can we talk after class?”

“Sure. But lets start with this first?” Hyuck is too kind. His smile 

During lab, Mark repeatedly makes mistakes and flushes red each time after Hyuck corrects the other. 

They’ve finished their lab. Mark rushes to get his things together as Hyuck waits in the hall. As they did long ago.

➯・・・

They decided to walk to Hyuck’s apartment. As the autumn breeze floats through the air, Hyuck takes a deep breath of the cool air with a satisfied sigh.

“I miss you” Mark stops his tracks as he looks down at the sidewalk he’s once walked with the other.

Hyuck stops a few steps ahead and turns his head to face the other. 

“I regret everything. That night, I should’ve fucking apologized but all I said was ‘okay’ like it was nothing. That night I drank and cried. I realized how much pain you’ve held in. I realized how much you chased after me when I was reflecting alone, I realized how you smiled and said you were okay when you were not,

“you’re happiness in my eyes, you’re the sun, you’re hope, you’re everything.”

Mark looks up to see the other crying silently. Sparkling tears falling from his face. 

And every tear held all the emotions he’d suppressed long ago. It’s all flooding back. 

His love to lust, from lust to truth, from truth to loss and more on. Hyuck chokes on a sob as he cries harder. 

Mark rushes to grab him and keep hm upright. The other cries in his shoulder. 

“Hyuck,” Mark hold his head to meet his gaze, “let’s go home?”

The latter sniffs and wipes his remaining tears with a nod. With a mumbled apology, they walk in silence. 

➯・・・

“Mark..” the younger starts as the door shuts behind them, “look, I-“

“I’m sorry,” Mark cuts in, “you must be confused, and shocked.. I don’t expect an.. answer right now? You know? There’s still a shit-ton I wanna say but it’d take hours for me to say everything.”

Hyuck let’s his hazel bangs cover his sad eyes that shed tears alone. He focuses his gaze on the ground, forcing himself not to look at the latter. 

“If.. Mark, i-if..” he starts but his voice breaks. Mark takes a hold of Hyuck once again and to the couch, they sit with only the broken cries of the younger echoing the room. 

Mark is so angered at himself for letting all this happen. He’s seen the poor boy break down two times already. All he can do is say he’s sorry for now. 

“If what, Hyuck-ah?” Mark softens his tone as the tears dry out and the younger’s calmed down. He lift’s Hyuck’s chin to meet his gaze, searching for the other’s eyes desperately.

He can’t lose him. Not like this. 

“M-Mark..” Hyuck sniffs, “what if I let you say e-everything?” 

And their eyes meet. Their eyes /really/ meet this time. 

For the first time in months, Mark really looks at Hyuck. He sees the raw emotions in those glassy eyes.

Both genuine, both real- sadness and.. hope?

“You mean..” Mark gently takes a hold of both of his hands, “you’re giving me..?”

The other reads him, and with a short smile and a nod, Hyuck tightens his grip on Mark’s hands.

A second chance. 

Although he hesitates at first, Mark lifts Hyuck’s hands to his face. Hyuck gives him a small confused look but doesn’t say anything, curious to what the elder is about to do.

He kisses them.

“Thank you, Hyuck. I’m sorry.” 

And with that, Hyuck tells Mark he can explain everything.

Mark starts with his childhood, then moving to his first love and explaining his actions after. He describes his emotions and explains his actions after being with Hyuck, and breaking him. He continues on to talk about how much he realized the younger was worrying, and he hated every second of it.

Through all of it, Hyuck stayed silent, letting the calm voice of the latter echo through the apartment as he comprehends the words, the actions. 

By 2 am, Mark had finished explaining himself, exposing himself to the younger. 

And that night, he saw what he had missed in a long time.

His smile. Hyuck’s genuine smile.

And it was beautiful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please check out my other works!


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